Sunday, August 12, 2007

Would you like to be President? We can help

C'mon, you know you could do a better job than the guy in the White House.

If only you could come up with the money. If only you could raise your name recognition to a national level. If only your boss would give you a couple of months off to campaign.

The coffee shops and bars and boardrooms of America are filled with people who think they could transform the Oval Office, if only they had the chance. Maybe you're one of those who stare in disbelief at their TV sets and crumple their newspapers at the breakfast table and mutter: "What are they thinking?"

So here's your chance to shine, in a very limited way. Just like God (in the person of Morgan Freeman) gave Jim Carrey the chance to be God of Buffalo in "Bruce Almighty," we at the News & Advance would like to make you President of the United States. Sort of.

Here's the deal. Between now and next January, when the primaries begin, we're offering you the opportunity to tell us how you would fix some of the things you think are wrong with this country. Or bolster what you think is right.

What would you do if you were the man or woman in charge? How would you get us out of Iraq? Or do you think we should stay there? How do you feel about the national debt? Global warming? The separation of church and state?

We'll find a panel of astute people to sort through all of your suggestions and narrow them down to five candidates. Then, we'll give each of those who make the cut the opportunity to deliver a short campaign speech that we'll post on video on our Website. We'll also publish your ideas in the newspaper. Then, we'll throw it open to a general vote of all our readers.

The finalists will not be chosen on the slant of their ideas -- we will hold no prejudice toward left, right or center suggestions. Indeed, it will be a much better election if we have an ideological range. The key will be whether your suggestions are clearly thought out and presented. Nor do you have to be an Ivy League graduate -- common sense will count just as much as an advanced degree.

So think about this, and take your time -- you've got several months. We'll also probably reward the person who's elected in some way, although that's still in the talking stages. You can e-mail us your ideas, or mail them.

If you'll notice the previous blog on this site, I've thrown out a few of the many issues you could discuss. I'm sure you have your own.

The only rules are these:

1. We want you to suggest a platform of your own, not simply criticize what's being done now. Pretend that there's a vacancy at the top, and you're starting from scratch.

2. We want you to be serious. Any suggestions like "Give everyone a million dollars" or "Legalize crime" will be chuckled at, then discarded.

3. Stick to national and international issues, not state and local.

So give it a shot. Who knows? Maybe you can even make it onto the national ballot from here.

1 comment:

Fessor said...

If I were given the chance.

1) Either fully occupy Iraq and Afghanistan or pull out over a 6 month period. Let the region take care of it, that is what they want anyway.
2) Impose a flat tax. Period. 12% regardless of what you make and no tax refund. You live in this country, you need to support it.
3) Either make Mexico a state or block it off. With the amount of people coming in, it is an invasion force. Legal stay, illegal leave, no excuses.
4) Limit congress terms to 2. 20 years is a bit long.
5) Congress gets the same retirement as regular citizens.
6) All the money the government gives for useless studies and such(how cow farts affect the ozone layer) will be cut to a minimum and transfered to education and health care.
And that is the beginning. but I guess that is good enough for a weeks worth of work.